Jokes

Definition of relay...

What chickens do when the farmer takes their eggs away!

How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?

By dropping it 7 feet – it won’t break for the first six!

How did the egg get up the mountain?

It scrambled up!

How did the eggs leave the highway?

They went through the eggs-it.

How do baby chickens dance?

Chick-to-chick!

How do comedians like their eggs?

Funny side up!

How do monsters like their eggs?

Terri-fried!

How do you know if it's too hot in the chicken barn?

The chickens are laying hard-cooked eggs.

How many eggs can you eat on an empty stomach?

Just one, because then your stomach won’t be empty.

How many eggs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. Eggs don’t have hands.

If fruit comes from a fruit tree, what kind of a tree does a chicken come from?

A poul-tree!

Knock knock. Who's there? Chicken! Chicken who?

Chicken your pockets, maybe your keys are there!

Knock, knock! Who's there? Omelette. Omelette who?

Omelette smarter than I look!

What day do chickens hate most?

Fry-day!

What did one chicken say to the other when they walked through poison ivy?

You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours?

What did Snow White call her chicken?

Egg white.

What did the eggs do when the light turned green?

They egg-celerated!

What did the Spanish egg farmer say to his hens?

Oh lay!
(Ole!)

What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?

They go on peck-nics!

What do chickens call a school test?

Eggs-amination!

What do Chickens grow on?

Eggplants!

What do chickens serve at birthday parties?

Coop-cakes!

What do you call a bird that's afraid of its shadow?

Chicken!

What do you call a bunch of chickens playing hide and seek?

Fowl Play!

What do you call a chicken that crosses the road?

Poultry in motion.

What do you call a city of 20 million eggs?

New Yolk City!

What do you call a mechanic who lives on a farm?

An egg-chanic.

What do you call a mischievious egg?

A practical yolker.

What do you call an egg that goes on safari?

An eggs-plorer!

What do you call an egg white with cowboy boots?

A western omelette!

What do you call an excited chicken?

Hen-thusiastic.

What do you call the door to a chicken barn?

The hen-trance.

What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?

An eggroll.

What do you get when you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!

What do you get when you cross a chicken with a martian?

An eggs-traterrestrial!

What do you get when you cross a chicken with an alarm?

An alarm cluck!

What do you get when you put a Tasmanian Devil in a chicken coop?

Deviled eggs!

What does the chicken say to get across a busy street?

EGGS-cuse me please!

What grows on yolk trees?

Egg-corns!

What is a chicken's favorite tree?

A y-oak tree!

What is Santa's favourite drink?

Eggnog.

What kind of egg lives by the sea?

An egg shell.

What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?

Scrambled eggs!

Where are chicks born?

In Chick-ago.

Where do chickens like to go on vacation?

SanDiEGGo!!

Where do chickens pay for their groceries?

In the eggs-press line.

Where do you find a chicken with no legs?

Where you left it!

Where do you find information about eggs?

In the hen-cyclopedia!

(or in our great “All About Eggs” section!)

Where does a chicken have the most feathers?

On the outside!

Which city hatched Illinois?

Chick-ago.

Who tells the best chicken jokes?

Comedi-hens!

Who wrote the book, Great Eggspectations?

Charles Chickens!

Why are chickens good employees?

Because they work around the cluck!

Why are chickens so neat?

Because they always have a comb!

Why can't you tease egg whites?

Because they can’t take a yolk!

Why couldn't the egg get good reception on her TV?

Because the channels were all scrambled!

Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?

To make up for a bad summer.

Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?

Because the referee kept calling fowl!

Why did the chicken cross the beach?

To get to the other tide!

Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!

Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud and cross the road again!?

Because he was a dirty-double crosser.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To prove to the gophers that it can be done!

Why did the chicken go cluck cluck cluck?

Because it’s a chicken, DUHHHHHHHHHHH!

Why did the chicken go to the library?

To check out a bawk bawk bawk!!!

Why did the chicken jump in the lake?

Because the rooster egged her on!

Why did the chicken lift weights?

She needed the EGG-ercise!

Why did the chickens quit laying eggs?

Because they got tired of working for chicken feed.

Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

Because chickens didn’t exist yet!

Why did the egg go to school?

To get “egg-u-cated”!

Why did the farmer have to separate the chicken and the turkey?

He sensed fowl play!

Why did the rabbit cross the road?

Because the chicken retired and moved to Florida.

Why did the rubber chicken cross the road?

She wanted to stretch her legs!

Why did the turkey cross the road?

Because it was the chicken’s day off!

Why didn't the chicken skeleton cross the road?

Because he didn’t have the guts!

Why do chicken coops have two doors?

If they had 4 doors, they’d be sedans!

Why do chickens lay eggs?

Because if they dropped them they would break!

Why do chickens rinse their mouths out with soap?

Because of all the fowl language!

Why does a chicken stand on one foot?

Because if she lifted the other one, she’d fall over!

Why is Miss Piggy so fat?

Because she did not eggsercise!

Why was the chicken sick?

Because it had people pox!

Why was the chicken thrown out of the baseball game?

They suspected fowl play.